Balance

Balance

Noun- an even distribution of weight enabling someone or something to remain upright and steady.

Verb- keep or put (something) in a steady position so that it does not fall.

As a wife of a soldier in a “long distant relationship” I guess you can say & a mother of 2 little boys, balance is something I so desperately seek.

So many things weigh on my mind that I need to do, want to do & wish I could do.

Raise my kids (alone right now).

Work.

Seeking the Lord & spending time in His word.

Working out.

Eating right.

Talking to husband & nurturing our marriage.

Laundry (the never ending supply of dirty clothes).

Clean house

Taking the trash out.

Ensuring someone can cut the grass bi weekly so the kids can play outside.

Ordering the dog food bi weekly.

Doctor’s apt here.

Dental apt there.

Grocery shopping. (Dangit, I’m out of milk ALREADY?)

Oh poop! No more diapers!

Not to mention the toilet paper shortage (haha)

& the past 2 months of social isolation.

 

It is hard enough to find balance as a mother. But then you add COVID 19 to the mix… it’s like a volcano that has been dormant for years that finally erupts. The lava melts away any sense of balance, routine &sanity. We are left standing on our very own little tiny island isolated & wondering what to do next?

Where do I send my SOS? Will anyone see me? Anyone hear me?

Between all the demands of life & all of the duties I must fulfill, it is so easy to get swept away with the tide. Especially when any little thing can throw you out of the balance you so desperately worked for.

A few weeks ago, I was seeking the Lord fervently. Desperately. I wanted more. I expected more. Waiting for Him to show up & move ANY minute. But then I realized I look like a fat slob, wanted to look good for my husband, so I added a little diet & exercise to my already packed schedule.

And then there it was… BAM! Another thing added to the self care list & a lot less time doing other things. Immediate condemnation (from the enemy) set in. Oh, the nasty lies he will whisper in your ear! “Look at you.. spending less & less time with God.” “God is mad at you.” “You are such a disappointment.” “You have failed Him ONCE AGAIN.”

I know they are all lies but they are SO believable. Why must the enemy be so smart & know the very words to weaken you and stop you in your tracks? The enemy knows that I am my own worse critic. It really holds me back & makes me feel useless sometimes.

How can you possible jam pack everything you need to do into a 1.5-2hr time window during nap time?  Us mommies are literally living life one day at a time. Sometimes not being able to wait until naptime because we know when bedtime rolls around, we will be too exhausted to accomplish anything productive.

We so desperately reach for balance. We need that something to remain upright & steady. We need that something to steady position us so that we  d o  n o t  f a l l .

Isn’t that the goal of the enemy? To knock us off our feet? To make us fall just when we think we are finally getting a handle on things?

Do I have a solution for you, tired & weary Momma? A clear cut, black and white answer? No, not really. This is my third attempt at even trying to write this because #Momlife. [Scratch that.. fifth attempt but who is counting?]

What I CAN do is provide you with a little comfort in knowing that you are not alone. I am not alone. We are in this together. As many people have stated in the past few recent months, we are all in different boats but rowing in the same storm. .. but every storm has to eventually end. & when that storm ends… there will be a promise awaiting us.

So instead of a solution, I will cheer you on & leave you with a few promises that our Heavenly Father gives us.

I will not leave you. [Joshua 1:9, Joshua 1:5, Deuteronomy 31:8]

I will go before you. [Deuteronomy 31:8]

I know you better than anyone (& love you more than anyone.) [Psalm 139]

I created you with a UNIQUE purpose. [Psalm 139]

My grace is enough. [2 Corinthians 12:9]

When you are weak, I will take over & make you strong. [2nd Corinthians 12:9]

I am always with you. [Matthew 28:20]

You hear my voice. [John 10:27]

I will deliver you from hard times. I will make you a new creation. [Isaiah 43]

Just focus on today. Don’t worry about tomorrow yet. [Matthew 6:34]

I am near the brokenhearted. [Psalm 34:18]

I have overcome the world. [John 16:33]

YOU are MORE than a conqueror! [Romans 8:37]

Do not be anxious. Instead, give me all of your worries. [Phillipians 4:6]

I will send help. [John 14:26]

I will give you peace. [John 14:27]

I give YOU authority over your situation. [Matthew 21:21]

I will be with you in the fire. [Daniel 3]

 

I know that seems like a long list but it is actually small in comparison to all of the promises our Father gives us in the bible. If I can give advice to anyone struggling to find balance… I will say what I need to hear myself.

Give yourself some grace.

Try to wash your butt daily (at least a bird bath haha).

Read the word every day. Even if it is just 5-10 minutes. God is not mad at you because you didn’t spend that 2 hours in prayer like you had intended (cough ALLYSON). Reading & digesting even a LITTLE of God’s promises will help get you through the day.

Spend a little time nurturing your relationships. God. Your spouse. Kids. Friends.

& yes, it’s ok to try to make yourself look better. We get one body & it is our temple. It is up to us to take care of it.

LORD,

I pray for anyone out there right now who is like me & struggling to find balance. Struggling with condemnation when adding self care to our daily routine. Help us Lord see ourselves the way YOU see us. Help us love ourselves the way YOU love us. Let us see with new eyes & a new perspective for ourselves & our neighbors. Help us find the balance we need so that we can be good parents, good spouses & a good servant. Meet us where we are Lord. If it is doing the dishes, the laundry, picking up lego’s for the 10000^th time. Send your helper, the Holy Spirit, to give us peace in our every day tasks.. during our anxious & weak moments. We praise you Lord because YOU NEVER CHANGE. We change. Our seasons change. Your love for us does not. Your power does not. Thank you for loving us unconditionally. Even when we push you away due to unwarranted shame. Thank you for never leaving us Lord. On our good days, our bad days, your presence never leaves. We love you & we praise you in Jesus name.

Amen.