An Open Letter to 20 Year Old Me

I am ever so close to completing my third decade of life. You got it right… I am almost that dreaded (drum roll please) *DIRTY THIRTY*. I am only weeks away from the big three-zero! & what a ride it has been!

As I reflect on the past 10 years of my life, I feel an emotion that is hard to describe.

I feel happiness & contentment because so much GROWTH has occurred in this decade.

But I also feel deep sadness because it took a lot of HURT to get where I am today.

These past years have held the best & the worse moments of my life. (Insert dramatic music here!)

In those years, I had an on & off relationship with Jesus. Much like the boys I spent my time with prior to meeting my husband. I was in a toxic relationship.  I sought happiness in the wrong places. Everything I knew about my family & life was ripped beneath my feet. I met the love of my life. I graduated LPN & RN school! I pushed God even further away. I held so much anger, unforgiveness & pain in my heart. Got married to my love! Had a baby. Finally responded to the persistent pulls of my Heavenly Father & dedicated my life back to Him. Had another precious baby! Dealt with a lot of rejection. Foster care certified! Chased after God alongside my husband. & finally, accepted the call that somehow.. someway… God wants to use me in ministry. (I still don’t know what that looks like but I know HE has it all planned out!)

These past 10 years have been the hardest yet BEST years of my short life. I have found who I am (in Christ). I have had SO many struggles but have grown from them. In those struggles, I have learned to fully rely on God! After all, if He can use a filthy rag like me He can use ANYONE, right?!?

 

So without further do… I would like to make a list of things that I WISH my 20 year old self knew. & Even my 18 to 19 yr old self! Maybe there is a 20-something year old woman or an 18 year old young lady out there who can use my words to make her life a little easier. I like to think that the trials I went through will be used to help others. Isn’t that the business of Jesus? He wastes NOTHING! All things work together for the good to those who love Him (Romans 8:28). So… here goes.. if I lived in a Back-To-The-Future type world & rode around in a time machine with Marty & Dr. Emmett Brown, this is the golden ticket I would hand myself as I turned 20.

 

• ·       Know your worth. There is so much more to you than your body.

 

• ·     Know what you do & do not deserve.

 

• ·       It shouldn’t be hard to get along with the person you are dating. If it is, He’s the wrong guy!

 

• ·       It’s okay to go to a community college.

 

• ·       The love stories are right. When you meet the right one, you really do “just know”.

 

• ·       That wasn’t God punishing you. That was the enemy pushing you away from God!

 

• ·       Your life is going to fall apart. I mean really fall apart. But you will be okay. You will be hurt. You will break. But lean into God during this time. Please, don’t push Him away. You WILL overcome this & grow from it!

 

• ·       Don’t start smoking cigarettes.

 

• ·       Sure… Get that Cook-Out burger at 2am while you can. In 10 years, your metabolism won’t be so kind!

 

• ·       Spend time with your friends.

 

• ·       Your earthly father is going to let you down but you Heavenly Father NEVER will. Forgive him as Christ forgave you. It is far too costly to live with unforgiveness. Forgiveness heals. It’s not for him. It’s for YOU!

 

• ·       You are going to be a GREAT mom. Don’t ever let the enemy tell you different.

 

• ·       The enemy can disguise himself in familiar voices: your family, friends & even your OWN voice. Listen CAREFULLY at what you are hearing.

 

• ·       You are protected against generational curses. Your children included!

 

• ·       Being a good mom is not defined by how many months you were able to breastfeed.

 

• ·       Don’t stop dating your husband. Don’t stop pursuing him.

 

• ·       Get “gender roles” out of your head. You will be no less of a woman by serving your husband a plate of food. Teamwork makes the dream work!

 

• ·       Have those hard & uncomfortable discussions.

 

• ·       Not everyone will understand your dreams & that’s okay. Your support may look different than you envisioned but God will provide for you every single time.

 

• ·       & last but not least…God see’s you. He hears you. He has SO much planned for you that you will never be able to fathom. He loves you. He NEVER left you. Spend more time in your bible & less time on Facebook (still prevalent). Find out what the Word says about you. Not what the world says. Whatever you face, know that God is greater.

 

 

To my 20-something year old sister in Christ, you are in such a pivotal moment in your life. Don’t waste it. You will discover who you are. Let God define your identity. You will do great things. You will learn more about yourself and start journeying into the woman God has called you to be. It can be scary but take hold of it. Remember, there is no one else in this world like you. Never apologize for that. In a world that persecutes you for being different, remember that God set you apart! [Jeremiah 1:5; Psalm 139] He knows you more deeply than anyone on this earth. He also LOVES you more deeply than anyone here ever will. Let God move in your life.

 I promise, you won’t regret it.

 

Sincerely,

An almost 30 year old sister in Christ