The Least of These

I am ever so close to completing my third decade of life. You got it right… I am almost that dreaded ( drum roll please ) * DIRTY THIRTY *. I am only weeks away from the big three-zero ! & what a ride it has been! As I reflect on the past 10 years of my life, I feel an emotion that is hard to describe. I feel happiness & contentment because so much GROWTH has occurred in this decade. But I also feel deep sadness because it took a lot of HURT to get where I am today. These past years have held the best & the worse moments of my life. (Insert dramatic music here!) In those years, I had an on & off relationship with Jesus. Much like the boys I spent my time with prior to meeting my husband. I was in a toxic relationship.   I sought happiness in the wrong places. Everything I knew about my family & life was ripped beneath my feet. I met the love of my life. I graduated LPN & RN school! I pushed God even further away. I held so much anger, unforgiveness...

I recently went to a quick mountain trip in Boone, NC. It was supposed to have been a trip for me & my husband but things didn’t go as planned. Instead I brought my boys & some friends. One of the first things I did when we got there was walk down to the river. A sweet sound it is to hear the water flowing over & around the rocks. I slipped my feet into the ice cold fresh water and savored the moment. I felt God all around me. A tangible feeling. All 5 senses in use.   The sweet sound of the water in the creek & the birds singing. The beautiful scenery of the mountains & the water flowing. The cold water & rocks underneath my feet. The smell of the fresh mountain air. The taste of North Carolina’s second most clean creek in the state. [It was SO refreshing!] Yes, God was all around me. It was like He was saying “I know things are not how you wanted them to be right now but I am with you still.” It was such an overwhelming feeling.. those ...

As I reflect on this past week, it is hard to even type proper words onto this page. Is there really adequate words you can say or express? Together, we watched a man named George Floyd die right before our eyes. An unarmed & restrained black man fighting for air & crying for help. I have wondered if & how I should respond to this because in the year 2020, everyone has an opinion. Everyone voices that opinion. If your opinion does not line up with mainstream media, you could be labeled as selfish, inconsiderate, unloving, judgmental, hypocritical, the names could go on & on.  But that is not what this post is about. This post is a reminder that we as human beings have basic rights. There is nothing that should change the basis of those human rights. Nothing. We all know that what happened was wrong. Point blank. Evil. Heartbreaking. If your heart didn't drop to your stomach while watching the video, you may be part of the problem.  What I want to address today ...

Balance Noun - an even distribution of weight enabling someone or something to remain upright and steady. Verb - keep or put (something) in a steady position so that it does not fall. As a wife of a soldier in a “long distant relationship” I guess you can say & a mother of 2 little boys, balance is something I so desperately seek. So many things weigh on my mind that I need to do, want to do & wish I could do. Raise my kids (alone right now). Work. Seeking the Lord & spending time in His word. Working out. Eating right. Talking to husband & nurturing our marriage. Laundry (the never ending supply of dirty clothes). Clean house Taking the trash out. Ensuring someone can cut the grass bi weekly so the kids can play outside. Ordering the dog food bi weekly. Doctor’s apt here. Dental apt there. Grocery shopping. (Dangit, I’m out of milk ALREADY?) Oh poop! No more diapers! Not to mention the toilet paper shortage (haha) & the pas...